2011

since no one actually reads this it is a good way to express things. it is valentine's weekend. i'm starting to realize how much i have screwed my life up. for some reason it just hit me that those kids that are seniors were born the year i graduated high school. which means they all could actually be my kids. i thought i could conquer the world. instead 18 years later i'm no better off than i was back then. i'm back in the same house. i have no future, and i have more mistakes and consequences under my belt. i'm in married to a man that has done nothing but drag me down. every night i go to bed & pray i wake up in another life. the only way to completely protect my kids from him is to stay married because the state of tennessee feels that both parents should be allowed to see the kids. as long as they are not physically or sexually abused i have not options. they don't see verbal abuse as being something to protect them from. so until he decides to leave i'm stuck.